The craziness and heaviness that comes in the newborn months are well documented. The sheer exhaustion and frequent “WTF am I doing?” moments are discussed at doctor’s appointments and whispered about at playgroups.
But the slow burn of Motherhood is often overlooked. The chronic fatigue, the overlooking of one’s self and the deprioritization of our own needs are factors that lead to Motherhood’s slow burn.
What makes this phenomenon dangerous, is that its often not seen as “severe” enough to warrant immediate action for change. We accept the weariness as a ‘way of life’ or a passing phase that never really passes.
All well and good in the short term, but constantly putting off one’s well-being benefits no-one in the long-term. As the well known saying about Motherhood goes: “You cant pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.”
As a mom of 3 year olds, I know how difficult it can be to find time in the day for myself. My eyebrows have last been waxed in 2016 (I’m growing them out – my excuse), and I haven’t bought myself new clothes since before my girls were born. Seriously.
So I get it. There are a thousand ‘more’ important things to get done than my eyebrows. And honestly, I’d rather spend money on my kids than myself… but, but BUT! I need to revisit my unintentional martyrdom. Am I really doing my kids any favors by overlooking myself so frequently?
How can I be teaching them to value themselves when I constantly reinforce the notion that I place little value on myself?
I’m not sure how just yet, but I’m going to try to change this. Maybe with little, tiny baby steps. I’m going to value myself a little more, focus on my well-being a little more. It could be a coffee with a friend here, a manicure there.
Here’s looking at me kid!