I’m off to Europe… so why aren’t I more excited?

I’m leaving for a 20 day Euro Trip in exactly a week’s time.

And while I’m somewhat excited, I’m mostly consumed with guilt. You see… I’m a terrible mom. I’m going without the kids. Whaaaat?! Yep, you heard correctly.

I’m flying off on a fun-filled holiday, and I’m leaving my kids at home. I can’t even use the guise of “business trip”, because honestly, there isn’t going to be any work.

We fly into London via Dubai and spend 5 days exploring the city. My sister is heading there for a Taylor Swift concert, but the days will be filled with touristy activities and pub lunches. I’ve been to London many times but I never tire of the city’s energy.

We then board a Eurostar train for Paris and spend the next 2 weeks in my old home town. I haven’t been back since we moved to SA when the Twincesses were 2 months old! So it will be wonderful to catch up with my friends and family and meet old colleagues again.

We plan to hit the museums and shop the biannual Paris “soldes” (Paris’ world famous sale), that just happens to coincide with our trip… imagine that!

We’ll walk along the Seine and eat baguettes unapologetically each day.

On our last weekend there we will steal away for a whirlwind trip to Amsterdam. I’ve only been to the Dutch capital once before, so it will awesome to see the city again. But I solemnly swear… I’m NOT riding a bicycle in traffic again. I choose life.

So as you can see… a whole lot to look forward to… but the nagging guilt just won’t go away. I’ve tried to ignore it, but today I find myself questioning, analyzing it. Why? Why do I feel guilty?

My kids are probably too little still to appreciate the trip, never mind the cost of traveling to Europe on the ZAR. They’re not on a regular school term schedule, so they’d miss a chunk of school stuff.

But more than the various practical reasons… why shouldn’t I have this? My girls are three years old and it’s the first time I’ll be away from them for an extended period of time. I’ll miss them like crazy… but I need this! I want this! I deserve this!

So here’s to new adventures in the great beyond… and coming back home to where my heart will always reside.

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