I recently read a book by Tiffany Dudu called ‘Drop the Ball’. When I was done, I gently put it down, let out a long, slow sigh and thought “Wow, so there is a cure for my overwhelming life”
And I’m certainly not a minority for feeling like there just aren’t enough hours in the day. As moms we are constantly juggling a million things on an ever-growing ‘To-Do” list. Waking up at the crack of dawn, packing lunch boxes, managing the kids routines and extra murals, keeping the house tidy, ensuring everyone is fed, bills are paid, groceries are bought, dogs are walked, trash is emptied etc etc etc… And that’s on top of working a full-time job for many women.
But this book is here to show us exactly how much value we as women attach to being “good” at all our roles. We cant just be a mother. We have to be good mothers. We cant just be wives, or friends, or daughters. We have to be good ones. And according to the author, its just not humanly possible to be good at every, single thing. It’s far too much work. Far too much stress.
Women feel that they will be judged as less than if their house is not sparkling or their children haven’t brushed their hair. We assign a value to ourselves based on our management of things we control. What is this obsession with perfection?!
It is this stress of getting everything just right, all the time, that leads us to burn out and run through life without stopping to smell the roses. Why is it that a man can take the time to relax and zone-out after work, but as women, and particularly as mothers, we go non-stop until the last child is asleep, the last plate washed and the last towel folded? Why do we underestimate the importance of ‘me time’ for our well-being?
As a mom, the best thing we can do for our kids, is to be the best versions of ourselves. That is; a mom who is happy and (mostly) relaxed, who has the time to get down on he floor with them and build puzzles. The mom who laughs out loud at silly jokes because she’s not busy plotting a mental grocery list in her head. The mom who initiates tickle fights and reads the bedtime story for a second time. The mom who pours a glass of wine and puts her feet up for a few minutes when she gets home from work. The mom whose soul is fed from being able to spend time with her friends over a cup of coffee once a week.
We need to let go of our ideas of perfection. The chores can wait a little. The to-do list isn’t going anywhere. Take a moment. Take a moment to be in the now. To be imperfect. To be happy.